When Life and Writing Feel Overwhelming

May 31, 2017 by Andi 6 Comments

When Life and Writing Feel Overwhelming (1) When I was a teenager, Mom and I saw a book with a bulldog named Zelda on it. It was full of aphorisms – mostly really funny ones, especially when paired with a wrinkly dog with an underbite. But one struck both of us as very true:

There is no stress. Only stressful thoughts.

Now, of course, we know stress is a real thing, but the sentiment behind this idea resonates strongly with me today, especially since I feel a bit overwhelmed with all that is happening in life.

See, stress isn’t a concrete thing. It’s not something we can measure, see, touch, smell, or taste. It only exists as part of our thoughts, so if I can change how I think, then I can reduce my stress.

If only it was as simple as writing that sentence.

Even Great News Can Be Hard

Last Friday, we found out that I am pregnant, and we are over-the-moon with joy. After years of battling against infertility, we are expecting a child. . . what a gift.

Now, though, much about how we live needs to shift. At this time in my pregnancy, I am just bowled over by fatigue, and I’m taking the best naps of my life . . . you know the kind where you wake up and have to figure out where you are. I’m paying a lot more attention to what I eat, which means cooking a lot more. So between more food prep time and naps, I’m losing a few hours in each work day. . . and I’m happy to lose them, but it does mean adjustment.

Add to that our upcoming Writers’ Retreat, the height of harvest and weed season in the garden, and the final stages of a major book project, and I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed.

So I’m having to make some serious choices to manage, and here’s what I’m finding – when I make those choices, even before they come into play, I feel better. . . just knowing the change and space are coming. That’s how I’m changing my thoughts.

A Few Things To Remember about Writing in Overwhelming Times

I don’t know if you are feeling overwhelmed just now – I hope not, but if you are, here are a few things I keep reminding myself about:

Writing is not always about production; it’s about practice. I don’t have to always be putting books into the world. I can adjust my blogging, newsletter, social media schedule if I just let people know about the change. I can write just for my own mental, spiritual, emotional, and physical health, and not another person in the world has to read it.
Help is available if I ask for it. In the weeks of our most recent fertility treatment, I finally realized I need some help with the business side of things, so I asked a friend if I could hire her for some administrative tasks. She agreed and has been amazing at helping me keep up with things. (And this week, so many friends have come to pick our strawberries at the farm. It’s been so helpful to not see them going to waste.
It’s okay to let some things go. Yesterday, I didn’t get a post up at my Our Folks’ Tales site. A while back, I had set the goal of posting there weekly, but since I hadn’t announced that goal, I felt okay letting that slide. Sometimes, we just can’t keep doing it all.
Celebrating the simple things is sometimes the most creative work we do. This morning, I got really excited to think about sitting on the deck my dad and step-mom have just built, about enjoying some iced tea with them on a warm, summer evening. Each evening, when the work that must be done is finished, I take out cross-stitch and sew. Then, when I head to bed, I look forward to wrapping myself around my new body pillow for some great sleep. These things refill me. These things give me joy.

Last week, a friend sent me this wonderful story about Mr. Rogers. And it has been sitting with me, reminding me of something I know well but often forget: to be able to love people well, to be able to write well, I have to have space in my life. Space to sit down and listen. Space to not be hurried. Space to rest. So I’m stepping back from some things, letting some things go, asking for more help, and enjoying every minute with this little life growing inside me. Because, friends, this is my only life, and I want to love it.

Today is the last day to get our special limited time price for our upcoming Writers’ Retreat here at the farm. Tomorrow, the price goes up, so be sure to scoop up one of the remaining 15 seats today. All the details and registration information are here.

Hope to share the farm with you in a few weeks.

When a Writer Needs Refilling

May 24, 2017 by Andi 6 Comments

When A Writer Needs Refilling In my faith tradition, we often talk about refilling the cup or the well, this need to resupply ourselves with energy, with rest, with the things that inspire. For writers – or artists of any sorts – this refilling, this determination to resupply is essential. It is not an option, something we can put off because we are busy doing or making. Refilling our reserves is a requirement of being a creative person in this world.

If you’re feeling dry or can’t find the words, think back about the past few weeks or months of your life. How much have you given out? Have you given it all away without replenishing?

What Dries Us Out

What is taxing, draining, or exhausting varies from person to person. Some of us are bled dry by parenting or by our day jobs. Some of us find the weight of family crises or the hope of great things to be the source of our fatigue. Some of us are bent over by the history of trauma or loss or grief.

Hear me when I say this, my friends: The fact that you are worn thin or tired out by something is not a failure on your part. We all are made weary by some things in our lives. That is the nature of human existence on this broken earth, so please shed the guilt over being weary. There’s no value to that.

What Fills Us Up

Just like what drains us is individual so is what gives us vibrancy and energy. Some of us find time in nature to be a markedly well-filling experience, and some of us love the energy of a city street at night. Some of us enjoy a quiet night with our families and a movie, some a rousing game of Uno by the lake. A stroll through an art museum lifts some, and hours bent over an engine boisters others.

There is no right or wrong in what fills you (Okay, except of course if it harms you or others, so let’s not slip into the very dangerous idea that alcohol or drugs are the way to inspiration. That belief has killed far too many a writer.) Rather, the key is to find what gives you more energy that it takes.

Knowing What Works For You

The key to our understanding here is to understand what gives us energy and what takes our energy. If something takes our energy, then it is an activity that we need recovery and replenishment time from. If something rejuvenates us, then we can use it to fuel our creativity.

Here are a few things to consider:

How do you feel when you are out in the natural world?
How do you feel at home?
How do feel in large groups of people?
How do you feel when you talk with a great friend?
How do you feel when you work with your hands?
How do you feel when you take in art or music or a book?
How do you feel when you watch TV or a movie?
How do you feel when you move your body?

Maybe spend a few minutes jotting down your answers to these questions and see what you find. Then, think about how you can incorporate the restorative practices into your weekly life. Note, adding in what fills you may mean you have to give up something else. . . and I encourage you to consider that sacrifice well worth it if you want to write.

What Fills Me Up

Here are just a few of the parts of my life that give me joy and refill my writerly well, including cross-stitch (I’m working on that wedding sampler above for Philip and I.):

Our goat Bliss and our Great Pyrenees Boone

Our Basset Hound Mosey

Our Garden

Good Books, Especially YA Fantasy

My Girl Meander

Your Turn?

What fills you up? Are you building time for that in your life? Leave a comment – with a picture if you’d like – below. I’d love to hear what refills that writerly well of yours.

A quick reminder – the limited time price for our Writer’s Retreat here at the farm ends on May 31, so be sure to grab one of the last 15 seats for yourself before the price goes up. Get more information and register here – http://www.andilit.com/2017retreat. Hope to see you in exactly a month!!

When the Season Isn’t For Writing

May 17, 2017 by Andi 16 Comments

Our farm . . . with our neighbor’s cows.

This morning, I woke at 5:30, started the coffee, fed the dogs, and went out the door. I came in an hour later with three cabbages, a tray of strawberries, and a mess of mustard greens, swiss chard, spinach and lettuce. Then, I prepared breakfast, grabbed a quick sip of my coffee, and drew up a progesterone in oil shot for my husband to give me as part of our fertility treatments.

By the time 8am rolled around, I had not even done my normal mornings reading and journaling let alone the writing I might have wanted to do if it simply hadn’t seemed impossible. Right now, this is not a season in my life where I can produce new writing – or at least new writing for publication.

What the Experts Say

I know there are all those writing wizards out there that say you have to write every day, that to be a “real writer” (good glory, I loathe that phrase) you have to do it no matter what . . . and to be honest, at moments in my life, I have said those things, too.

But the truth is that our lives, when lived well, are made of up seasons – times when the writing is fruitful and plentiful and the time to do it either abundant or at least salvageable AND times when the energy, the ideas, the time are just not there. To deny that these seasons exist is to act as if life is a single plane that never changes, and that’s a lie. A big lie.

So take freedom, my friends. You can write when you want . . . just make sure you hold time for it sometimes if you want to do it.

(By the way, I don’t think there’s much that is uniform for all writers or for even one writer all the time, which is why I wrote Discover Your Writing Self. Maybe it would be freeing to you during this season of your writing life?)

What I’m Doing Instead of Writing

Sometimes, I feel like this list is so long I might keel over under it’s weight – I expect you can relate sometimes, right?

In a couple of weeks, my husband and I will know if our fertility treatments have been successful, and if they have, we will be preparing to parent. If they have not, we will be regrouping.
We are moving into the height of garden season on our farm, so I’ll be planting and weeding and harvesting in the early mornings and cool evenings.
I’m finishing up the revisions on a book on racism in the Christian church that will – if all goes as hoped – come out next summer.
I’m carrying around the hope for Love Letters to Writers, which I will hopefully release later this summer.
I’m planning for the return of the Discover Your Writing Self course as a pay-what-you-will journey for any takers in July. (Stay tuned for details.)
I’m reading fun books and eating lots of strawberries and enjoying our animals.

What about you? What does this season look like for you? Leave a comment below and share. Is this a time of writing or not for you?

*The links in this post are affiliate links, which means if you follow them and then make a purchase, I get a small commission, which helps keep these cuties in fresh hay.

Our rabbits share some leftover cabbage

Writers, Come Spend the Weekend on the Farm – A Giveaway

April 25, 2017 by Andi 4 Comments

Come Spend the Weekend on my Farm

Each summer, I have the absolute privilege of spending three days doing three of the things I love the most: talking about writing, spending time with writers, and sharing the great gift that is our farm. At our annual Writer’s Retreat, writers from all over the U.S. gather to get to know one another, talk about writing, and learn from some of the best writers in the world today.

At the retreat we do a workshop, have casual discussions about various aspects of the writing craft, share home-cooked meals, and relax together around the farm. The animals will be around to greet you, and we’ll share a bonfire or two if the weather is amenable. It’s a relaxed and, hopefully, relaxing time to talk about writing with other people who get it.

This year, our retreat takes place from June 23-25, and we have 19 spaces still available for you to join us if you’d like.

To whet your appetite for the weekend and to help spread the word about the retreat, my co-leaders Shawn Smucker and Kelly Chripczuk and I are giving away a set of our books to one winner.

Shawn’s book Building a Life Out of Words* is a beautiful handbook that tells the story of his journey into writing full-time and includes practical advice about various aspects of the writer’s life.
Kelly’s book Chicken Scratch: Stories of Love, Risk, and Poultry* is a lovely set of essays, told through the lens of her acquisition of a flock of hens, about how life comes at you in hard and amazing ways.
My book Discover Your Writing Self* is a set of 31 casual lessons that are designed to help you think through everything from when you write to why you write.

To enter simply complete one or more of the tasks in the RaffleCopter giveaway below. Then next Tuesday, a winner will be chosen, and I’ll announce the winner here as well as contact her/him about how to receive their prize.

For more information and to register for the retreat itself, click here.

We’d love to see you in June!

Rafflecopter giveaway

*These are affiliate links, which means if you make a purchase via this link, I get a small commission at no extra cost to you.

Join Us for a Weekend of Relaxation, Connection, and Writing

June 15, 2016 by Andi 2 Comments

In just six weeks, July 29-31, our farm in Virginia is going to be delightfully overrun with writers, and I cannot wait. This year will be my third for hosting the annual writer’s retreat at God’s Whisper Farm, and each year, I am all filled up and the perfect kind of exhausted at the end.

I’m not sure language will suffice to express what happens any time writers get together with the intention of focusing on our words and our nourishment as creative people, but I can tell you it’s magical, restful, and sustaining, at least for me. Maybe it’s so special because so much of what we do is solitary, because writing – in practice – requires us to be alone to be our best writing selves.

So when those first cars come down our farm lane, I feel a jolt of hope I hadn’t known I needed. “Here are my people,” I want to shout. . . maybe this time I’ll actually bellow that as each person arrives.

If you haven’t heard about the retreat yet, let me tell you a bit about it:

First, our ultimate goals for this time together are that we relax, connect, and learn – in that order.
To that end, we spend time together around the bonfire and share four home-cooked meals.
We have an open mic reading for anyone who wants to participate as well as a small-group workshop.
Great writers teach us about the practice, craft, and business of writing.
And our animals and the gorgeous gift of this place fill our spirits, inspire us, bring us rest.

At least that’s our hope. Kelly Chripczuk, Shawn Smucker, and I are eager to share a weekend with you, to settle into the quiet of this rural space, and to hear your words as they spring forth and bloom.

To learn more and reserve your spot, check out this link.

At present, we have 16 spaces left in the retreat, and we expect they will go quickly.

I so, so hope to bellow with joy when I see you come down our farm lane. So, so hope.

Can I answer any questions about the retreat for you? If so, please leave a comment below, and I’ll get right back to you.

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