This weekend, I spent much of my time with my legs wrapped in a satin-lined blanket, my feet propped on an ottoman, and my fingers looped in embroidery floss as I cross-stitched away the hours. It was blissful.
I woke this morning excited about the day for the first time in months. A wiser person might have caught on to that lack of enthusiasm at week two. I am not that person.
I decided several years ago that if I wasn’t enjoying my work most of the time then something was wrong, especially since I have the privilege of doing what I love day in and day out. But lately, even though every single thing I’m doing is something I love, I haven’t been loving it – I’ve made myself too busy.
When I’m too busy, my eyes turn inward, constantly scanning the list of tasks I have to complete, thinking over and over about the projects at hand. I imagine many of us know that feeling.
The problem with that inward focus – besides stress and all the requisite icky feelings and health issues is brings – is that I miss the good stuff, the new stuff, the moments of story that exist right beyond my own fingers. As Card says, “The good writers are the ones who see . . . .” When I’m too busy, I can’t see.
I really NEED quiet, solitude, and wandering in order to write, much less write well. But I also need openness – open time, open heart, open mind. I need to have some time that is not full in every single day, time to just observe – both what’s happening around me and what’s happening in me.
2015 is going to bring some big changes for me. . . and I’ll keep you posted on how those unfold. My goal is to have more open time in my days – for the sake of my clients and my own writing – so I’m making some choices to allow that to happen. I’m going to force myself to slow down, to take deep breaths, to sit and stare at the goats for a little while each day.
I need that slowness to enjoy my life, and while I don’t believe that life is ever going to be all kittens and rainbows, I sure don’t want to miss the goodness when it comes.
What helps you slow down so you can see?
Spots in the Writer’s Retreats here on the farm are beginning to fill up, so if you’re interested, reserve yours now. I’d LOVE to have you join us.