It was only yesterday that I learned who was playing . . . Go, um, Ravens!, and honestly, I’m most excited about the snacks and to see if that commercial with the goat that I voted for on Facebook wins. So I can’t say I’m a Super Bowl fan . . . and yet, I find myself comparing my life to this massive event today, and I find very few points of comparison.
Here are the 10 ways the writing life is not like the Super Bowl
1. We don’t get to wear padding. While some days I really wish someone handed me a helmet and a mouthguard before they critiqued my work, no one does. It goes right to the heart, no shoulder pads included.
2. Beyonce does not (lip) sing to me when I’m halfway through a project. Although sometimes I do break out a little “Who’s Been Sleeping in My Bed?” a la Barry Manilow to relieve the times my brother and I danced to it when we were kids. Everyone needs their own way of relieving stress.
3. There are no coaches with mics to get us through a hard run of words. There are couches, however, and if we’re not careful, we spend too much time on them when those hard bursts come at us.
4. We aren’t competing. While there are many who say we are, who talk about market share and limited shelf space, writers don’t compete with each other if we’re wise. We can’t afford to. We need to stick together, not battle it out.
5. Our cheerleaders wear more clothing. Our moms usually don’t sport those short skirts, and our best friends don’t wear tube tops with glitter . . . at least not on most days. But we do have cheerleaders, oh do we ever.
6. No one pours a cooler of Gatorade over our heads when we finish a book. For this, I am thankful.
7. Most of us can’t get 60,000 people to read our blogs, much less buy our books. Maybe we could all pool together, put our cheerleaders in some sparkly stuff, and invite Toni Morrison to do half-time . . . but we still wouldn’t get 60,000 people to gather for us, I expect. We’re just not that entertaining what with our computers and our mugs.
8. There are no pre-printed copies of our books with the “alternate” title that have to be destroyed after the “big game.” No publisher in their right-mind is wasting money on that unless it’s a stunt by Neil Gaiman – then it’s worth it.
9. When we create videos to promote our work, Facebook doesn’t usually offer to sponsor their promotion. Maybe we need to work in more goats and babies in car seats. (Note to self.)
10. No one pays a million dollars to advertise with a writer. In fact, almost no one pays a writer period.
There is one way that MY writing life is like the Super Bowl though. I regularly have wardrobe malfunctions; pjs can be so temperamental. Since I work alone at home though, there’s not usually a scandal.
Happy Football Day, All. May you enjoy it all.