Yesterday, I was blessed to get a massage. Someone very loving gave me a gift certificate, and I used it for . . . 90 minutes of glory. This woman worked the knots in my back, and today, I feel like I’ve just had an amazing workout, except I didn’t do any of the work.

At this time in my life, I feel kind of like I’m being worked over a lot, almost like my spirit and mind are getting a message. I feel like God and the life God has placed me in are working out a lot of the knots that have formed in my thoughts and actions, places of tension and pain that I have – sometimes knowingly and sometimes unconsciously – worked into myself. What I need now is time – and 90 minutes is nowhere near enough for this process – to get these knots worked out. I can’t “fix” them myself; they are things that have to be eased out, rolled over and over with the thumbs of the Master, allowed to loosen on their own.

I see this process working in odd ways. I’ll be watching TV and suddenly have a huge revelation brought on by something Brenda Lee says on The Closer. Or in the middle of the night, I”ll wake up from one of those dreams where I am doing the same thing over and over – moving things out seems to be a recurring dream these days – and know that my mind is moving things out as it needs to. I’ll vacuum with my iPod on and dance along to John Mayer’s “Perfectly Lonely” and think, ‘Yep, this is me today.’ I’m not sitting around meditating on life; I’m living and watching these places of tension and pain be illuminated and eased away. It’s kind of a lovely space.

I expect I’ll be sore from the process for a while, but you know, it’s that good kind of sore – the kind that lets me sleep blissfully for hours, kittens braced against my folded knees.