There is just one idea that I’m never going to be able to come to terms with – the concept that to get ahead in life, to get what your dreams are, you have to crush other people along the way.
This idea came to mind when I stood in Whole Foods today. I was buying cat food, milk and cream of mushroom soup, and as I waited for the woman in front of me to buy all her organic food and then insist on double bagging every purchase and asking the cashier to put a rubber band around all of her pre-packaged sushi, I started looking at magazines. I really love to read them – the short articles, the new information, etc – but I don’t buy them very often because I want to use my money for other things – like buying my own farm some day. I know that in order to achieve my goals long-term I have to make some sacrifices now. But there are things I won’t sacrifice – a slower pace of life, work that I find valuable, time for the people I love. And these choices make other choices – like the farm – harder to obtain. Such is life, and I will gladly take this.
But then, sometimes, I do wonder – if I just took the job for the big corporation, if I just worked for the school that takes advantage of its employees, if I just shopped at Wal-mart – would I get ahead faster. Is this how other people do it? Probably sometimes. But also people work hard. They carry lunches to work instead of eating out; they do without new shoes or shirts so that their kids get the things they need. They buy used books instead of new ones. These are such small things that add up to big goals over time. This I know.
So I’m holding strong. I’m living with the belief that the ends do not justify the means when the means are not right or good or just. And I’m doing what I love – writing, teaching, and selling things on Etsy – to get what I ultimately hope for – a little piece of land that is mine, a country road on which to take walks in the evening, a few dogs and cats, a family. The God I love and who I know loves me will bring it pass, if it is the best thing.
Meanwhile, I watch others get their dreams, like Jenna at Cold Antler. You go girl!!
– Garage by Dawn Light – Cold Antler Farm