This morning the first thoughts in my mind were “I am so tired,” and “I should go back to bed.” I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night (the Palin performance kept me up for a bit), and it’s been long week. So I am very, very tired.
But the cats were awake and wanting food; the kitchen needed to be picked up; and I made coffee out of rote routine. By that time, I was awake – kind of – so I thought I might as well write. Sometimes it is really just that routine that gets me to the page.
And this time, actually every morning this week when I have thought about sleeping instead, I have written and been rewarded for my presence with words. It’s a great feeling.
Now I won’t say that what I’ve been writing has been stellar at every minute, far from it. But I am rewarded with a feeling of having dipped into myself, having looked at what is real and honoring it. That is good.
So now, as I sit here at just before 8am with a very full day ahead of me, I feel like I have done something that really needed to be done. I know this sounds contrary to what many people, particularly Americans believe, that to consider something done it has to have a product, often monetary, to show as evidence of that effort, proof that work has been completed. But while I have words on a page, those words may never earn me anything beyond what I get from writing them. I probably will never be paid for them; it’s likely that only a few people will read them. But they were worth writing because they are true and real. And that is everything.
As I was out into this chilly, chilly morning where the sky is already turning the perfect blue that only October brings, as I feel the crisp air slip up my shirt sleeves to goosebump my arms, as I watch students take a reading quiz and talk to a class about the use of quotation marks, I will find those things beautiful and rewarding because I have done what makes me able to see the world this way – I have written today.
May you find your calling today and do it so that you may walk the world with peace and an eye to beauty.