Today, I’m feeling mildly overwhelmed. I have many things to do – clean, put up my grandmothers’ jewelry on E-Bbay, begin gathering books for the read-a-thon, prep the house for the arrival of two new kittens on Friday (like how I slipped that one in there?), attend a meeting, take my current cat Oscar to the vet, and then – I could – write. . . in fact, that’s what I most need to do – but somehow this morning I’m having trouble getting there.
And this brings me to my larger challenge – I find that I write best – or at least I enjoy it most – when I have an open day ahead of me, no scheduled appointments to curtail where I’m going to go later on. In fact, I enjoy writing a lot more when my schedule is free and open for several days, something that only occurs in the summer. Yet, as we all know, most of us don’t get that many weeks of “free and open” if we get any.
The committed part of me says, “Just write anyway.” The more prominent part of me says, “Do it later when you have time.” But, as we all know, we never have more time. We only always have now.
My problem – I think – is that I see time visually in my mind’s eye. Open time is clear, translucent, see-through. Busy time – no matter what the time is for, even projects I enjoy – is black to me. I envision most of my days as calendars in a day-timer with blocks open and other blocks closed. If there are too many closed blocks, I get frustrated and then less productive on my creative stuff. Does anyone else have this problem?
For today, I’m going to go off to my meeting, get a few things done, and then write this evening. Hold me to that, okay? I need help with accountability just at this moment. Thanks.
P.S. This weekend I re-met a wonderful stained glass artist named Wayne Cain. Take a look at his work. And if you need a window, he takes commissions. I’m already planning mine.
by Wayne Cain – windows of Amelia Presbyterian Church, Virginia